Being me

One of the perhaps surprising elements of rejecting the tenets of a religion that I have ardently believed all of my life is that I have felt a little lost lately. I find it difficult if I try to discuss this with anyone, since almost everyone I know well enough to have deeply personal discussions like this is a member of the religion that I abandoned, and at any sign of potential weakness, they seem quick to jump on me about how they knew I would eventually come to regret my decision. I want to be honest and sincere with them, but I hate to feel I am giving them ammunition that they are only too happy to use against me.

In addition, I’m not entirely sure myself of how I feel. I have known my entire life how I was supposed to view the world, how I was supposed to think about sin and righteousness, how I was supposed to act in just about any situation. I no longer have that understanding. I no longer know at a glance what to think about things, and that often includes what to think about myself.

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